u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
