Are we in a gay sports bar?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
