I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
