it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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