Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
