This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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