No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
