it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
