she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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