I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
