rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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