I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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