Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
