i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
