Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
