Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
