Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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