I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
