Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
