I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
