i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
