I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
tell me about the eggs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
