I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
