He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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