every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
