omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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