Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
