I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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