Well douche your snatch and let's go!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you made out with another girl for some wings
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
