The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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