is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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