Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
