If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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