he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
