At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
