This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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