6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
