so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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