All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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