I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
