the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
