Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
