I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
