she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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