no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
where am i from again
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
