i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
