don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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