Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
