pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
