every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
